“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” - Paulo Coehlo
Life can be static routine for a while, until something comes up and disrupts the whole thing.
It can be an external interruption, or an internal one. Circumstances beyond your control, or a yearning to change the status quo.
These things are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
Sometimes the external disruptions leave you hanging on for dear life, trying to hold onto what is inevitably shifting beneath your feet, avoiding coming to terms with what is suddenly gone, without your consent.
Sometimes the internal disruptions come from seemingly nowhere, a seed of a yearning growing, an inner voice telling you that this is not the life you want.
Sometimes the external disruptions make way for the seeds of the internal yearning, and you decide to run with it, rather than floundering in the circumstances you did not ask for to shift.
Either way, you’re destined for change.
The man in this video studied engineering, believing this was what he should do with his life. After four years of working for a large corporation, he grew to understand that he was not fulfilled with this work. The sense of meaning he thought he would find in this career was absent.
He could have toughed it out. He could have waited, longer. He could have stayed on the road more travelled.
But the internal disruption was too strong to ignore. So he left, and started something new.
“People are strange: they are constantly angered by trivial things, but on a major matter like totally wasting their lives, they hardly seem to notice.”
- Charles Bukowski
At some point, I felt like I was totally wasting my life. I did notice, and it bothered me a lot.
I had studied music since the age of four years old, all the way up to university, when suddenly, one day sitting on the steps of the school’s entrance, I had an epiphany. I realized that although I loved music, I did not want to become an opera singer. This was the path I was on, but it wasn’t what I really wanted.
So I left. I quit. And then, I was lost. I did not know what to do instead. I knew what I didn’t want, but I didn’t know what I did want.
This existential crisis in my early 20s sent me into an abyss. When an opportunity presented for what I imagined would be a “gap year” job, I became a flight attendant.
I ended up staying for a few years. I travelled the world. I played grand pianos in hotel lobbies, took my ukulele on layovers, and once my cup was full and I should have retired my wings, instead indulged in my chronically jet lagged escapism, uncertain of what to do instead.
As much as it was not the thing that I wanted to do with my life, it was not just a waste of time. I explored different cultures, learned languages, tasted food, saw magnificent places, and connected with people from all walks of life. My aviation career, although ultimately unfulfilling and not my ‘forever’ job, opened up my world and gave me a broader perspective.
I also met my soon-to-be fiancé. He was a pilot.
My internal disruption, or longing to fulfill a greater purpose, became too loud to ignore as I fell in love and yearned for more meaning in other areas of my life.
I quit flight attending and began teaching music lessons, returning to my core passion. We left the city and moved to the country, trading our sports car for a pick up truck.
We bought our first home in the country in January 2020, just three months before external circumstances were thrust upon us that we did not ask for.
My husband lost his career of almost 20 years with the lockdowns. We hustled; as he explored online business endeavours, I opened up my own music school, using digital marketing— something I had no experience in up until that point. In my husband’s pre-aviation days, he studied cinema and photography and ran a small photography business. I took my decades of musical performance experience and put it to work teaching in person, and building an online presence using the medium of music videos, which we co-produced. We moved with the change, and leaned into our circumstances, rather than sinking into helplessness and despair.
With our new venture into music video production and digital marketing, we used our developing skillsets and innate talents to create videos about societal issues plaguing our nations. We became part of an online community dedicated to liberty, and soon landed a gig creating videos and podcasts for a prominent think tank.
As we continued to work in this niche, with different organizations and individuals, we also started to get itchy feet. We yearned to explore a different country, to decouple from the geographical status quo, and looked into different countries we might want to relocate to. Mexico was on top of our list, but it took us almost three years to actually make it happen.
“Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”
- Robert Frost
All along the way, we decided to take the road less traveled. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t instant; it was a process. Like Daniel, the former engineer and cafe owner in the video, we were afraid of the unknown. But we decided to do it anyway.
Relocation is not for the faint of heart. Neither is changing careers, or quitting what you know to start a business or do something else. But taking the road less traveled doesn’t necessarily mean anything extreme. The road you choose is made up of all the little steps that you take, the small decisions that accumulate into bigger ones. Trusting yourself to find yourself, and discover hidden parts of you that might be dormant. Knowing that you will make mistakes, or choices that are not necessarily the ones most in touch with your true self. But that even in those ‘mistakes’, you can find silver linings.
“Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.”
- Paulo Coehlo
If you find yourself stuck, unsure of the path that you’re on, or even knowing with certitude that your life is not offering you fulfillment in its current static state, one of the catalysts for jumpstarting change I have learned to embrace is experience. Get out of your living room, and go sit in a coffee shop. Get out of your house, and get on a plane.
Travel is one of the most underrated life hacks to open your mind to new possibilities that you will not conceive of in your normal routine.
When we came to Mexico to get our residency finalized, we were unsure if we wanted to live here, or just have residency as a plan b. After years of research and many trips, we had in mind a handful of places we might want to live in Mexico. Puebla was number one on our list. When we got to Puebla, we fell in love and decided to sell our house and belongings, and move overseas.
Carpe Diem.
Suddenly our world opened up, and we were inspired to chart our path in this new territory. Our creative energy was ignited, and we began to think of different things we could do with our lives. A renewed sense of purpose, anchored in meaning, for ourselves and the people we touch.
We have a finite time on this magnificent planet, and there are so many potential experiences and paths to travel once you broaden your lens and step out of your comfort zone.
Big questions, like “what do I do with my life?” become less important than “what do I do right now?”. Just start with something. You don’t need to plan your whole life at once— and in fact, if you try to do that, taking the conventional road, you may find yourself sticking rigidly to that which is no longer serving you.
Aiming at a target, and making short to medium turn goals, then eventually clears the way for bigger goals. Our paths are always twisting and turning; we don’t need to figure it all out at once. It’s impossible to pre-plan your whole life because it’s impossible to know what the future holds.
All we need to do is take one step in a different direction, open another door into the unknown and see where it leads us.
And we may be rewarded with a new hello.
We specialize in custom trips to Puebla. As a former flight attendant/pilot duo, we will help you organize your itinerary from flights, buses, Ubers, AirBnbs to local hot spots such as restaurants, cafes, coworking spaces, and more, based on your unique needs.
We can also help answer questions about and facilitate your Mexican visas & residency.
Contact us at info@realmx.co
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