Do You Owe The World An Explanation?

Did you die or something?

I remember when I moved to Vancouver from Montreal for a short stint. I was caught up in my new surroundings, my new life.

People started to text me, “Did you die or something?”

And I was quite annoyed.

No, I didn’t die. I was kind of busy living.

Vancouver, West End

The Age of Information has ushered in new technologies that have become useful for communication. This, of course, has also created different expectations about communication.

That cell phone is assumed to be glued to you, because it is a multi-tool, an extension of your person. It is not your phone, but your alarm clock, your calendar, your navigator, your note taker. When people call or text you, they expect you to see it. If you do not answer them, they might think that you have seen their call but made a choice not to answer, for whatever reason.

Gone are the good old days of landlines and leaving the house to roam free in the supermarket with a piece of paper written: eggs, broccoli, avocados, bacon, butter, and cream.

Gone are the good old days where you would have to be home to pick up the phone.

Gone are the good old days where you blocked someone by leaving the phone off the receiver until you or they had calmed down already.

Yes, they were great times. However, I am not lamenting. The internet and the smart phone are inventions that enhance our way of living. Technology is not inherently evil or good; it is through we humans that it takes on these mystical properties. We wield it however we decide, and derive meaning about its effects on our life.

One such effect is that when you drop off the internet— whether Substack, X, Facebook, e-mail, or even the chat messengers in your phone, people might wonder if you’ve died.

And there are all kinds of stories people make up inside of their heads to explain your absence. And you make up stories inside your head to explain your absence.

You must explain yourself, young lady! Why haven’t you written an article? Why have you not posted a video? Why do you have no Instagram stories? What are you doing in your life that is so consuming that you are absent from the web-o-sphere?

She must be depressed, your friends think. Or maybe, that’s what you think they think about you. Because I’ll bet you think this song is about you, don’t you? They must be wondering.

You will have to update your readers. Update your community. Update your fans.

Let them know that hey guys, I’ve been really busy with all this fancy stuff and my life is so exciting and I have tons of ideas of things to share with you here but don’t worry, I am coming back. I am not dead.

You owe them an explanation! They may think you have dropped off the face of the internet forever!

Have you, dear reader, faced this panic before?

I don’t think it matters if you have an audience of one or ten thousand or more. Once you have entered the world of becoming an internet avatar, people expect to see you around town. Or at least, you think they do. Some of them care if you’re offline for a while, some of them will never notice.

But in all of this we have created these internal expectations to say or do something when we might have nothing to say or do.

Mirador de Zacatlán, Mexico

I’ve been busy with life. I haven’t had anything to say except that I have been too busy with life to think about something to say.

And is there a point in really saying that?

I don’t know. I’ve done it many, many times. I am doing it now. I am not judging anyone who does so. I think it’s great to keep your internet people informed, to stay e-connected with them, to “talk to your audience”, as they say in the YouTuber world.

For a few years, all of my work was centred around regularly posting videos and podcasts online. Consistency has never been my strong point. Things come out when they come out. But when your main gig is doing this kind of stuff, you kind of have to live on the internet. And the more you live on the internet, the more you have things to say about what’s going on on the internet. So you can put out content regularly without having to struggle to find fresh ideas or motivation.

But since I moved away from Canada, away from politics and political commentary, and have embraced a life where most of my time is lived out in the real world— a lively, colourful, social and loud world called Mexico—, the happier I am. There is less internet me, and more me-me.

And I have slowly drifted away from the culture wars on X. I have become more of an occasional lurker than a keyboard warrior. Being knee deep in politics meant I knew exactly what was going on from every angle, but I know enough now to not be naive nor to really care so much. I couldn’t give a damn about Mark Carney; I wrote tweets about him four years ago and even featured him in a video about ESGs and climate totalitarianism. If Canada becomes the 51st state, good. If it becomes a fascist dystopia instead, good riddance.

I have moved on. At least I tell myself. But I still feel some strange codependency-related guilt about not keeping people up to date. As if once you put yourself out there, you are required to perform at the rate of some mental algorithm that people have come to expect of you.

In a way, becoming an internet avatar is not just about selling your product, your work, or your intellectual property. You are commoditizing yourself, or at least your internet imprint of yourself, regardless of whether you’re making any money. People don’t just want what you’re offering, they want it from you.

Your internet self is your personal brand, after all.

Sometimes it would be nice to just be able to leave the phone off the hook. Maybe everyone would imagine you were on a long phone call while you were gone. Or maybe they wouldn’t think about you at all.

It’s okay to be busy with your life. I would say it is even good.

You do not owe the world an explanation. But I hope you’ve enjoyed mine. ;)

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