That’s an interesting experience with a Montessori preschool.
For us (context Australia) Montessori schools are rare and we were blessed to be close enough to one so that our eldest could go two days a week (she’s starting kindy at our local Catholic primary school). She’s had a Global Developmental Delay and has been diagnosed with Grade I autism. She’s got three younger siblings now, but the Montessori methodology was a godsend for her.
One of the things a lot of Montessori teachers don’t emphasise is that her whole method was developed around special needs kids and terribly impoverished kids in Roman slums. These kids had few opportunities at any education and little was expected of them.
The educators at our Montessori preschool are hands on. There’s usually a group time for the day, where a work is demonstrated, and the children will get individual demonstrations of works by the educators in progressive patterns. The kids can access food, water and the outdoor area at their discretion and at their pacing. The classrooms are blessedly quiet but a bustling quiet… if that makes sense? All of this helps my autistic kid engage with the world and develop her language, social skills and motor skills. They fostered her passion/obsession with drawing.
The thing that sealed the deal for us as the right place for her (and her sister who’s ahead of the curve in just about everything) is the very direct, but kind way they instruct the kids in etiquette, Grazie or graces in Montessori’s words. They don’t assume that the children will intuit how to be polite, care for the classroom, obtain a turn with a work etc. the explicitly explain with verbal and non-verbal signs and habits. This is a huge relief for an autistic kid who REALLY can’t work out social cues or manners instinctively or by imitation. So yes, it’s ’child-lead’ but in a very controlled environment directed by adults.
Visually the preschool is a community affair set up in a an old Protestant church hall. There’s three classrooms separated by those old foam dividers, lots of timber and soft rugs, as well as the usual assortment of equipment that is neatly stowed. Sterile is the last word id use to describe it. I do heed your point about the dogmatism in Montessori land I dislike it immensely and it’s utterly in contrast to her first and foremost principle, the dignity of the Child as a full human being and child of God. Education was not something to be ‘done to’ a child but to be provided for alongside loving and kind adults to guide and progressively challenge them to mastery. The purpose of education is to enable children to take a meaningful place in society, starting with their family. The ‘rules’ and the ‘environment’ is in service of this goal, not the other way around.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with your daughter and Montessori. I appreciate the description of the Montessori school from someone who has lived it and had a great experience. Glad it has helped your daughter to thrive!
I stayed home with my kids for the first five years of their lives and then sent my older son off to kindergarten at our local public school. It never felt natural to put him on the bus at five years old and send him away from me, but I did it because I figured that's just what mothers do. Every time I would pop into the school, I'd overhear the teachers berating these very young children about not lining up right or touching the walls while they waited--really minor things that young kids will certainly do. My discontent was growing. And then my son's school shut down for a very long time during Covid and we just never went back. I homeschooled my boys for four years and we loved nearly every minute of it.
But they outgrew homeschooling at ages 9 and 10. It became very clear to me that they needed more intellectual stimulation, more opportunities for same age friendships (we had a lovely homeschool co-op that I ran, but a lot of the kids were significantly younger), and opportunities to gain independence from me and from each other. We've since moved towns and for the past few months they've gone to our small, local elementary. No woke agenda. No push of technology for the sake of it. Lots of hands on learning, stimulating activities, cool field trips, huge focus on being good people and caring for the school, each other, the community, the environment. It all feels so healthy and wholesome. And honestly? Both things worked, in their own time. I'm a big believer in following the kids' innate intuition (and our own) and being open to making changes when they're needed.
I totally get this— the arbitrary rules, and thinking this is what you should be doing while feeling differently.
I could see how the need for change and variety as our children develop makes sense, and it’s helpful to hear you articulate this. Thanks for your insights!
I went to Montessori through sixth grade, but recently decided against the best-regarded Montessori toddler program in my town because they required that one year olds “separate easily from caregivers” and “recover from frustrations or disappointment with minimal need for caregiver intervention” before attending. I think some Montessori schools have done a good job of incorporating what we have learned in the past 60 years about attachment and child development, and others are still stuck in a model that is guided solely by the philosophy as originally created.
(Edited to add: to me, a one year old that immediately separates from a caregiver to a stranger without reaction is more concerning than a child who cries the first few times he goes to Mother’s Morning Out…)
That is so strange! It reminds me of midwifery. It went from being mother and baby based in its approach, but with higher adoption of the concept, morphed into something resembling standard medicine.
I fell in love with the idea of homeschooling before I had kids. When I met my first homeschooled teens I was so impressed -- at the attention span of the teen I was tutoring in Latin, he kept going for almost three hours whereas my public school clients were done after about 45 minutes. And the other teen said her family made a choice year by year and child by child and some of her siblings had spent time in school and others hadn't at all. Some went to school for a year or two and then back to home. I loved the idea of that kind of flexibility. And if we'd had good school choices near us I'd probably have seriously considered it. I had one child that I'd dearly have loved to spend at least a few hours a week at preschool because he had So Much Energy and I could not keep up. As a teen he's still the kid who I think would most thrive in a structured school environment-- If I could only find a school that was flexible in the right places and structured in the right ways, but so far no go. So he takes some online classes and does Boy Scouts and that partially helps.
I would really love it if there were more options out there for a hybrid that didn't just pile work onto the parent and try to structure the home time according to the designs of the school. But one of the things I like best about homeschooling is the freedom and flexibility to do things my way. I do not want to be answerable to a teacher or to have school dictating how my kids spend evenings and weekends. I like being able to tailor their days according to my children's different needs and aptitudes and interests. So far no two of them have had the same education, even though they all have me as a teacher and live in the same house.
They all turned out to be neurodivergent and when I see my friends with autistic and adhd kids fighting to get accommodations an access for their kids.... I am so glad I can just implement whatever I think they need. On the other hand, sometimes I do wish it wasn't all on me. They can be very needy. But I think school would be a huge strain for my autistic kids. I never wanted to be separated from them when they were younger. And I think school would have been a terrible strain for all of them. Instead we have been able to take socialization more slowly and to have them interact with people of all ages, not just same-age peers.
I have certainly made my fair share of mistakes. I know for sure all my kids have gaps in their education-- but then so do kids who go to public and private schools.
The greatest thing about homeschooling is that my teens all like me and like each other. We have a great relationship. And they are all glad to be homeschooled. I love that my teen daughters are each others' best friends and that my kids think my husband and I are cool.
I love the ideas of Montessori. But agree that the implementation often feels too rigid to me. But if we'd had a Montessori school near us I'd have been very very tempted.
I have one daughter who is in Montessori playgroup (for 18 months- 3 years), and an older daughter who did that and then went to a traditional preschool for language immersion. I hope to homeschool after she is more solid in that language. When her little sister started Montessori, my older daughter told me she wants to switch schools with her sister. I really think she misses the “freedom within boundaries” aspect of Montessori.
She goes to a very traditional Chinese preschool and I can sense they have a bunch of arbitrary rules she finds stressful. She’s been going since September and still tells me she doesn’t want to go, occasionally having meltdowns at the school gate. I don’t know what to do. Like you, I get her irritation at the rules and constraints. I think MANY of them are arbitrary. I get annoyed dealing with this school TBH. I don’t really want to send her. The Montessori school is in English and that just wouldn’t work for her Chinese acquisition and she refuses to speak Chinese at home to me.
FWIW my younger daughter also did badly at a more traditional Chinese playgroup. They ask her to change activities too often, and she had a meltdown. She would be getting comfortable in her environment and really finding her flow with an activity, then they force her to put it away. She’s doing much better in Montessori. Even tells me consistently that she enjoyed her time there and want to go back. They still circle time and greeting rituals, so it’s not like it’s extreme individualism. But I think they respect a child’s autonomy and focus much more.
We do expect them to be interdependent and communal at home. We eat dinner at 6 PM and they have around half an hour to eat. No faffing about. If they leave the table we interpret that as being done. Once it’s 6:30 or 6:45, we put the food away and that’s it for food that night.
It sounds like a similar scenario— the language benefits vs the type of education.
It’s similar to my son with music, he isn’t as keen to do structured learning with me yet, but I know it would benefit him enormously to have some training of the fundamentals.
It’s not a straight forward path or answer! I hope you and your family find your way. It sounds like you are in tune with your children and that’s what matters the most.
“But with some homeschooling cultists, you get the stink eye for even thinking your child might benefit from any kind of school at all. This kind of homeschooling supremacy turns me off almost as much as the Woke.” — absolutely! We sent our kids to school for a few years and are homeschooling this year. Things get so rigid and tribal so easily; it’s such a bummer.
I have to say, I’ve never had a bad experience, practically or theoretically, with Montessori; was interesting reading your thoughts!
How was your experience with traditional schools, and if I’ve read correctly, Montessori schools? How does it compare to homeschooling for you and your kids?
I homeschooled both my kids until high school. My husband worked full-time and I worked part-time. We were able to make it work because his job was deadline based so he was able to stay home with the kids for the 3 mornings a week that I worked at the local community college.
We mostly unschooled and followed the kids' interests and provided lots of art supplies, books, field trips and community involvement. My oldest was very self-directed and created her own daily schedule from a young age. We did drop-in activities with other homeschoolers which mostly consisted of free play with some structured activities. In hindsight the kids told me they didn't really like the homeschool drop-in group stuff and preferred playing with other kids one on one.
The oldest enjoyed extra-curricular classes like irish dancing, karate and drama, but the youngest preferred more time working on her own projects and hanging out with friends.
In high school they both excelled in most subjects, and teachers would remark how nice it was to have students that were genuinely interested in learning!
You mentioned something I didn’t think about when I was writing— the actual interest in learning. I think traditional schools may actually turn many off from learning. Good to hear that the homeschooling/unschooling fostered their curiosity to learn.
Yes, I think it's true that school often gets in the way of children's actual learning! I was a kid who did well only because I wanted to please the teachers and my parents and I feel that school did cause me to lose my intrinsic motivation. I was a slacker through high school and university doing the bare minimum to get by. Homeschooling my own kids brought back a lot of my own childlike curiosity and over the years I became a self-taught naturalist.
I'll also share that we explored Montessori, Waldorf, alternative schools, outdoor schools and even worked with a group to try to get a Sudbury school (democratic child-led free school) going in our area as I was also worried if I was doing the right thing. One of my kids spent a few months at a Waldorf school and the other at an outdoor school and while this gave me a break and provided them with an experience they were happy to come back to homeschooling.
Share the time with your child, share your values and impart your own wisdom. So much is learned through absorption by being around others, as you are already aware. Why lose that opportunity for your son to grow.with your values rather than some bunch of strangers you don't know and have different outlook on life. You have already seen the chasm of differential development between your son and his peers in the system. It's not that your son is nevessay'gifted' but that he is free to flourish without constraints necessary for that system to 'work'/function
These years while our children are young and full of 'firsts' are precious short and, for me, for a parent to miss out on these experiences and hand over responsibility to someone else on order to make money instead is doing more of a disservice to the child and the family than any amount of money can buy.
Education is not about academic achievement, it's about learning by example how to be a good person, and to be aware. Fully aware, not shoehorned into mediocrity. Academia can come later. Your son will learn what he is interested in as he develops and will easily catch up and surpass his peers as he forged his own path using the tools and values YOU give him.
Well. That's been my experience of home education.
Education.
Not schooling.
They are not the same thing.
Words matter and I encourage you properly to think about the difference.
Love your son, listen to him and cherish this very special time with him. Nurture him in the best way you can, by investing your time with him. You will all be grateful.
(Not sure if the beginning of my comment has disappeared, it's not showing in the text box)
“You have already seen the chasm of differential development between your son and his peers in the system. It's not that your son is nevessay'gifted' but that he is free to flourish without constraints necessary for that system to 'work'/function “
This is something I suspect as well.
And the time is precious! I missed him a lot in those days!!
Much to think about, appreciate you taking the time to write.
Our Daughter graduated public school, but I homeschooled all our sons. Homeschooling doesn’t need to cultish or religion-centered or mired in…”unorthodox” beliefs. It can be academically thrilling for smart kids who are motivated by their thirst for knowledge.
What’s more: when it comes to athletics, there are myriad more opportunities for homeschool students to participate in sports than there used to be. All the boys won at least one state title in football and enjoyed similar success in other sports. That means that the opportunities for positive socialisation are also more plentiful than in the past.
Ultimately, identify your goals; understand first who your kids are before determining who you want them to become; and trust in yourself and your spouse to recognise the right route to take.
I think it was first, second, and kindergarten all the way through graduation. We had an absolute blast. Then I coached them in football, but I refused head coach because I didn’t want to be the only authority figure in their lives. (That’s definitely something you’ll need to remain cognizant of.) I felt incredible joy when they told me that they wouldn’t have traded their experiences for anything. 🥲
Thank you for this! We are still considering that option, maybe even leaning into it. Did you homeschool them all the way through primary and high school?
Why are you sending your 4-year-old child away from home to be taught, trained, and indoctrinated by others when you could enjoy time with him yourself, have good times with him and neighbors and friends, watch him spread his wings naturally from the design/special place called family/home, and do the indoctrination yourself? How did we get to the place in the "civilized world" that parents even think about sending away their children for 3, 4, or 7 hours per day to a place called school when almost everything can be done from a family/home-based approach? I didn't say only family, but family-based. And, see research on homeschooling at www.nheri.org
That’s an interesting experience with a Montessori preschool.
For us (context Australia) Montessori schools are rare and we were blessed to be close enough to one so that our eldest could go two days a week (she’s starting kindy at our local Catholic primary school). She’s had a Global Developmental Delay and has been diagnosed with Grade I autism. She’s got three younger siblings now, but the Montessori methodology was a godsend for her.
One of the things a lot of Montessori teachers don’t emphasise is that her whole method was developed around special needs kids and terribly impoverished kids in Roman slums. These kids had few opportunities at any education and little was expected of them.
The educators at our Montessori preschool are hands on. There’s usually a group time for the day, where a work is demonstrated, and the children will get individual demonstrations of works by the educators in progressive patterns. The kids can access food, water and the outdoor area at their discretion and at their pacing. The classrooms are blessedly quiet but a bustling quiet… if that makes sense? All of this helps my autistic kid engage with the world and develop her language, social skills and motor skills. They fostered her passion/obsession with drawing.
The thing that sealed the deal for us as the right place for her (and her sister who’s ahead of the curve in just about everything) is the very direct, but kind way they instruct the kids in etiquette, Grazie or graces in Montessori’s words. They don’t assume that the children will intuit how to be polite, care for the classroom, obtain a turn with a work etc. the explicitly explain with verbal and non-verbal signs and habits. This is a huge relief for an autistic kid who REALLY can’t work out social cues or manners instinctively or by imitation. So yes, it’s ’child-lead’ but in a very controlled environment directed by adults.
Visually the preschool is a community affair set up in a an old Protestant church hall. There’s three classrooms separated by those old foam dividers, lots of timber and soft rugs, as well as the usual assortment of equipment that is neatly stowed. Sterile is the last word id use to describe it. I do heed your point about the dogmatism in Montessori land I dislike it immensely and it’s utterly in contrast to her first and foremost principle, the dignity of the Child as a full human being and child of God. Education was not something to be ‘done to’ a child but to be provided for alongside loving and kind adults to guide and progressively challenge them to mastery. The purpose of education is to enable children to take a meaningful place in society, starting with their family. The ‘rules’ and the ‘environment’ is in service of this goal, not the other way around.
That’s my two cents. Good luck with your son!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with your daughter and Montessori. I appreciate the description of the Montessori school from someone who has lived it and had a great experience. Glad it has helped your daughter to thrive!
I stayed home with my kids for the first five years of their lives and then sent my older son off to kindergarten at our local public school. It never felt natural to put him on the bus at five years old and send him away from me, but I did it because I figured that's just what mothers do. Every time I would pop into the school, I'd overhear the teachers berating these very young children about not lining up right or touching the walls while they waited--really minor things that young kids will certainly do. My discontent was growing. And then my son's school shut down for a very long time during Covid and we just never went back. I homeschooled my boys for four years and we loved nearly every minute of it.
But they outgrew homeschooling at ages 9 and 10. It became very clear to me that they needed more intellectual stimulation, more opportunities for same age friendships (we had a lovely homeschool co-op that I ran, but a lot of the kids were significantly younger), and opportunities to gain independence from me and from each other. We've since moved towns and for the past few months they've gone to our small, local elementary. No woke agenda. No push of technology for the sake of it. Lots of hands on learning, stimulating activities, cool field trips, huge focus on being good people and caring for the school, each other, the community, the environment. It all feels so healthy and wholesome. And honestly? Both things worked, in their own time. I'm a big believer in following the kids' innate intuition (and our own) and being open to making changes when they're needed.
I totally get this— the arbitrary rules, and thinking this is what you should be doing while feeling differently.
I could see how the need for change and variety as our children develop makes sense, and it’s helpful to hear you articulate this. Thanks for your insights!
I went to Montessori through sixth grade, but recently decided against the best-regarded Montessori toddler program in my town because they required that one year olds “separate easily from caregivers” and “recover from frustrations or disappointment with minimal need for caregiver intervention” before attending. I think some Montessori schools have done a good job of incorporating what we have learned in the past 60 years about attachment and child development, and others are still stuck in a model that is guided solely by the philosophy as originally created.
(Edited to add: to me, a one year old that immediately separates from a caregiver to a stranger without reaction is more concerning than a child who cries the first few times he goes to Mother’s Morning Out…)
That is so strange! It reminds me of midwifery. It went from being mother and baby based in its approach, but with higher adoption of the concept, morphed into something resembling standard medicine.
I fell in love with the idea of homeschooling before I had kids. When I met my first homeschooled teens I was so impressed -- at the attention span of the teen I was tutoring in Latin, he kept going for almost three hours whereas my public school clients were done after about 45 minutes. And the other teen said her family made a choice year by year and child by child and some of her siblings had spent time in school and others hadn't at all. Some went to school for a year or two and then back to home. I loved the idea of that kind of flexibility. And if we'd had good school choices near us I'd probably have seriously considered it. I had one child that I'd dearly have loved to spend at least a few hours a week at preschool because he had So Much Energy and I could not keep up. As a teen he's still the kid who I think would most thrive in a structured school environment-- If I could only find a school that was flexible in the right places and structured in the right ways, but so far no go. So he takes some online classes and does Boy Scouts and that partially helps.
I would really love it if there were more options out there for a hybrid that didn't just pile work onto the parent and try to structure the home time according to the designs of the school. But one of the things I like best about homeschooling is the freedom and flexibility to do things my way. I do not want to be answerable to a teacher or to have school dictating how my kids spend evenings and weekends. I like being able to tailor their days according to my children's different needs and aptitudes and interests. So far no two of them have had the same education, even though they all have me as a teacher and live in the same house.
They all turned out to be neurodivergent and when I see my friends with autistic and adhd kids fighting to get accommodations an access for their kids.... I am so glad I can just implement whatever I think they need. On the other hand, sometimes I do wish it wasn't all on me. They can be very needy. But I think school would be a huge strain for my autistic kids. I never wanted to be separated from them when they were younger. And I think school would have been a terrible strain for all of them. Instead we have been able to take socialization more slowly and to have them interact with people of all ages, not just same-age peers.
I have certainly made my fair share of mistakes. I know for sure all my kids have gaps in their education-- but then so do kids who go to public and private schools.
The greatest thing about homeschooling is that my teens all like me and like each other. We have a great relationship. And they are all glad to be homeschooled. I love that my teen daughters are each others' best friends and that my kids think my husband and I are cool.
I love the ideas of Montessori. But agree that the implementation often feels too rigid to me. But if we'd had a Montessori school near us I'd have been very very tempted.
I appreciate the honesty of this essay so much. Thank you.
I have one daughter who is in Montessori playgroup (for 18 months- 3 years), and an older daughter who did that and then went to a traditional preschool for language immersion. I hope to homeschool after she is more solid in that language. When her little sister started Montessori, my older daughter told me she wants to switch schools with her sister. I really think she misses the “freedom within boundaries” aspect of Montessori.
She goes to a very traditional Chinese preschool and I can sense they have a bunch of arbitrary rules she finds stressful. She’s been going since September and still tells me she doesn’t want to go, occasionally having meltdowns at the school gate. I don’t know what to do. Like you, I get her irritation at the rules and constraints. I think MANY of them are arbitrary. I get annoyed dealing with this school TBH. I don’t really want to send her. The Montessori school is in English and that just wouldn’t work for her Chinese acquisition and she refuses to speak Chinese at home to me.
FWIW my younger daughter also did badly at a more traditional Chinese playgroup. They ask her to change activities too often, and she had a meltdown. She would be getting comfortable in her environment and really finding her flow with an activity, then they force her to put it away. She’s doing much better in Montessori. Even tells me consistently that she enjoyed her time there and want to go back. They still circle time and greeting rituals, so it’s not like it’s extreme individualism. But I think they respect a child’s autonomy and focus much more.
We do expect them to be interdependent and communal at home. We eat dinner at 6 PM and they have around half an hour to eat. No faffing about. If they leave the table we interpret that as being done. Once it’s 6:30 or 6:45, we put the food away and that’s it for food that night.
It sounds like a similar scenario— the language benefits vs the type of education.
It’s similar to my son with music, he isn’t as keen to do structured learning with me yet, but I know it would benefit him enormously to have some training of the fundamentals.
It’s not a straight forward path or answer! I hope you and your family find your way. It sounds like you are in tune with your children and that’s what matters the most.
“But with some homeschooling cultists, you get the stink eye for even thinking your child might benefit from any kind of school at all. This kind of homeschooling supremacy turns me off almost as much as the Woke.” — absolutely! We sent our kids to school for a few years and are homeschooling this year. Things get so rigid and tribal so easily; it’s such a bummer.
I have to say, I’ve never had a bad experience, practically or theoretically, with Montessori; was interesting reading your thoughts!
Great read!
Yes! Tribal is the word.
How was your experience with traditional schools, and if I’ve read correctly, Montessori schools? How does it compare to homeschooling for you and your kids?
I homeschooled both my kids until high school. My husband worked full-time and I worked part-time. We were able to make it work because his job was deadline based so he was able to stay home with the kids for the 3 mornings a week that I worked at the local community college.
We mostly unschooled and followed the kids' interests and provided lots of art supplies, books, field trips and community involvement. My oldest was very self-directed and created her own daily schedule from a young age. We did drop-in activities with other homeschoolers which mostly consisted of free play with some structured activities. In hindsight the kids told me they didn't really like the homeschool drop-in group stuff and preferred playing with other kids one on one.
The oldest enjoyed extra-curricular classes like irish dancing, karate and drama, but the youngest preferred more time working on her own projects and hanging out with friends.
In high school they both excelled in most subjects, and teachers would remark how nice it was to have students that were genuinely interested in learning!
Fabulous!! Thank you for sharing these details.
You mentioned something I didn’t think about when I was writing— the actual interest in learning. I think traditional schools may actually turn many off from learning. Good to hear that the homeschooling/unschooling fostered their curiosity to learn.
Yes, I think it's true that school often gets in the way of children's actual learning! I was a kid who did well only because I wanted to please the teachers and my parents and I feel that school did cause me to lose my intrinsic motivation. I was a slacker through high school and university doing the bare minimum to get by. Homeschooling my own kids brought back a lot of my own childlike curiosity and over the years I became a self-taught naturalist.
I'll also share that we explored Montessori, Waldorf, alternative schools, outdoor schools and even worked with a group to try to get a Sudbury school (democratic child-led free school) going in our area as I was also worried if I was doing the right thing. One of my kids spent a few months at a Waldorf school and the other at an outdoor school and while this gave me a break and provided them with an experience they were happy to come back to homeschooling.
Home education wins for me, every time.
Share the time with your child, share your values and impart your own wisdom. So much is learned through absorption by being around others, as you are already aware. Why lose that opportunity for your son to grow.with your values rather than some bunch of strangers you don't know and have different outlook on life. You have already seen the chasm of differential development between your son and his peers in the system. It's not that your son is nevessay'gifted' but that he is free to flourish without constraints necessary for that system to 'work'/function
These years while our children are young and full of 'firsts' are precious short and, for me, for a parent to miss out on these experiences and hand over responsibility to someone else on order to make money instead is doing more of a disservice to the child and the family than any amount of money can buy.
Education is not about academic achievement, it's about learning by example how to be a good person, and to be aware. Fully aware, not shoehorned into mediocrity. Academia can come later. Your son will learn what he is interested in as he develops and will easily catch up and surpass his peers as he forged his own path using the tools and values YOU give him.
Well. That's been my experience of home education.
Education.
Not schooling.
They are not the same thing.
Words matter and I encourage you properly to think about the difference.
Love your son, listen to him and cherish this very special time with him. Nurture him in the best way you can, by investing your time with him. You will all be grateful.
(Not sure if the beginning of my comment has disappeared, it's not showing in the text box)
Thank you for this!
“You have already seen the chasm of differential development between your son and his peers in the system. It's not that your son is nevessay'gifted' but that he is free to flourish without constraints necessary for that system to 'work'/function “
This is something I suspect as well.
And the time is precious! I missed him a lot in those days!!
Much to think about, appreciate you taking the time to write.
Thank you.
(Sorry for the typos.)
Our Daughter graduated public school, but I homeschooled all our sons. Homeschooling doesn’t need to cultish or religion-centered or mired in…”unorthodox” beliefs. It can be academically thrilling for smart kids who are motivated by their thirst for knowledge.
What’s more: when it comes to athletics, there are myriad more opportunities for homeschool students to participate in sports than there used to be. All the boys won at least one state title in football and enjoyed similar success in other sports. That means that the opportunities for positive socialisation are also more plentiful than in the past.
Ultimately, identify your goals; understand first who your kids are before determining who you want them to become; and trust in yourself and your spouse to recognise the right route to take.
I think it was first, second, and kindergarten all the way through graduation. We had an absolute blast. Then I coached them in football, but I refused head coach because I didn’t want to be the only authority figure in their lives. (That’s definitely something you’ll need to remain cognizant of.) I felt incredible joy when they told me that they wouldn’t have traded their experiences for anything. 🥲
Thank you for this! We are still considering that option, maybe even leaning into it. Did you homeschool them all the way through primary and high school?
Why are you sending your 4-year-old child away from home to be taught, trained, and indoctrinated by others when you could enjoy time with him yourself, have good times with him and neighbors and friends, watch him spread his wings naturally from the design/special place called family/home, and do the indoctrination yourself? How did we get to the place in the "civilized world" that parents even think about sending away their children for 3, 4, or 7 hours per day to a place called school when almost everything can be done from a family/home-based approach? I didn't say only family, but family-based. And, see research on homeschooling at www.nheri.org